Wednesday, July 26, 2006

How to piss Tiffany off:

I think Tiffany made the perfect introduction (see her post about what frustrates me), so I will just spill the goods:

How to piss Tiffany off, in no particular order:

1. Surprise her with the addition of Papaya to a fruit platter or mixed fruit plate (she hates Papaya, which grows like a weed over here)

2. Advertise a Coconut Pancake or Strawberry Shake and then say "No have..."

3. Fill a teacup only half full

4. Require that shoes be taken off to walk around brick and stucco temples, with bird poop and bugs and temple shards, and no cleaning crew in sight ... she doesn't feel that's what Buddha would have wanted.

5. Perform illogical security checks ... checking your ticket and passport at the airport door, then at security, then again at the gate, and so on, or similar situations with bags where carry ons are x-rayed before and after check in.

6. Raise a security objection to a safety pin pinned to her money pouch after it made it through security in 5 countries already. This happened in Cambodia just after we had been fleeced for $50 in departure tax and it was not pretty!~> read more

  Suffice it to say we carried that safety pin right on with us.

7. Make your cows or goats eat garbage or make your children sell knick-nacks

8. Explain just how fat your severance was and how that allows you to travel in New Zealand essentially as long as you want (this lady was with her mother, no less!)

9. Make a funky and fun fashion item in "one size" which translates as "asian size" ("Nooo Beeeg Siizee")

10. Make the women work and let the men loaf around all day

11. Break your vow as a monk to engage in no business and con her into accepting your guidance around a temple because you "want to practice your english," then demand money for guiding services when she tries to leave

Yes, when you see us again, try not to do these things to her. Somehow, I don't think you folks will be a problem :)


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